is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize