love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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