whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
