im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
