it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
