Cold hands, warm shart.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it penis luge time yet?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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