i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
