I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
