What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
