you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize