well you can't waste a boner
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
