The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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