First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
