Ambien. No doubt about it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
