Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...