he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".