At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.