I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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