I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
