I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
