I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
