I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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