I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
