Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
