Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
