Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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