margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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