I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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