I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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