I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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