you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
