Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
