i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize