well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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