Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....

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  (818): we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things..... http://tfl.nu/q736
  Replies (4) Good night (1096) Bad night (635)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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  (775): Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink http://tfl.nu/sedp
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (2112)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.

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  (610): There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper. http://tfl.nu/5c6l
  Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (2857)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up

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  (727): I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up http://tfl.nu/lw6q
  Replies (10) Good night (3739) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"

  (1-805): View more from California

  uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win

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  (805): as veruca salt said, "i want it now!" (1-805): uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win http://tfl.nu/zx5h
  Replies (10) Good night (3821) Bad night (943)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

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  (203): it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq" http://tfl.nu/vhsj
  Replies (19) Good night (1727) Bad night (3406)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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  (708): I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard http://tfl.nu/i4gj
  Replies (19) Good night (4324) Bad night (1381)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3586) Bad night (1010)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.

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  (773): grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet. http://tfl.nu/onit
  Replies (20) Good night (5229) Bad night (1370)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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  (206): I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/2cd4
  Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Wanna skype?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.

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  (425): Wanna skype? (1-425): Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no. http://tfl.nu/gc87
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (981)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (429)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"

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  (214): His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP" http://tfl.nu/swif
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (310)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

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  (503): He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment. http://tfl.nu/auln
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.

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  (814): I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest. http://tfl.nu/xdou
  Replies (4) Good night (168) Bad night (341)

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