Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3320) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917 ): Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"? http://tfl.nu/0dpt
  Replies (15) Good night (625) Bad night (2815)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vfy9
  Replies (26) Good night (12248) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!" (219): I have so much to learn from you, wise slut http://tfl.nu/eyww
  Replies (20) Good night (3801) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it http://tfl.nu/osby
  Replies (37) Good night (2294) Bad night (5158)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
  Replies (16) Good night (4589) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober. http://tfl.nu/rgt7
  Replies (7) Good night (4558) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2635) Bad night (1978)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet http://tfl.nu/ftvp
  Replies (7) Good night (4640) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people. http://tfl.nu/g4iv
  Replies (6) Good night (3685) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out... http://tfl.nu/xv6z
  Replies (5) Good night (2567) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room http://tfl.nu/c34s
  Replies (5) Good night (3379) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream. http://tfl.nu/75x9
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  L'Shannah Tovah!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whats that? My new stripper name?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): L'Shannah Tovah! (832): Whats that? My new stripper name? http://tfl.nu/9zli
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (292)

Randomize