Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies