HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
