i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.