Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

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  (443): I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans. http://tfl.nu/20x0
  Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (633)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.

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  (502): She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her. http://tfl.nu/ymnu
  Replies (36) Good night (4837) Bad night (1083)
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  (516): View more from New York

  we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

  (914): View more from New York

  isnt today saturday?

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  (516): we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class (914): isnt today saturday? http://tfl.nu/dclk
  Replies (28) Good night (1123) Bad night (6334)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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  (816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/i2tt
  Replies (40) Good night (1613) Bad night (10003)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  What happened to him?

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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  (501): What happened to him? (1-501): He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum http://tfl.nu/owcl
  Replies (4) Good night (4099) Bad night (742)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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  (253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh
  Replies (11) Good night (2444) Bad night (937)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3403) Bad night (1102)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.

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  (313): its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom. http://tfl.nu/3nbn
  Replies (10) Good night (1022) Bad night (1355)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1417) Bad night (478)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?

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  (516): I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight? http://tfl.nu/oach
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (542)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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  (717): Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/xm16
  Replies (7) Good night (633) Bad night (1218)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still dying that you shit outside

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  (267): Still dying that you shit outside http://tfl.nu/a3uv
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (359)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (605)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.

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  (501): If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you. http://tfl.nu/0j48
  Replies (0) Good night (631) Bad night (797)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup

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  (773): Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup http://tfl.nu/qk1n
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (578)

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