he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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