and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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