he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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