It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
