i may or may not be watching the land before time
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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