So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
