Have you finally orgasmed yet?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
