My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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