My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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