we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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