Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
