just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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