everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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