So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
