check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Less talking, more tequila
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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