im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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