um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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