There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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