Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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