I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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