I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
