I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
