Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
