im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
