omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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