Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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