ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
