Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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