No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
