To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
