Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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