oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
