You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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